Have you ever been in a conversation where one partner starts complaining, and the other one comes up with a brilliant solution – only to find the solution is received most poorly?  Watch this for some insights into this situation. #marriage #relationships

Note: this post was originally posted AFTER the one above it in the blog. It makes more sense that way, but somehow got messed up and had to be reposted. A certain video has been circling around the internet which I think provides a brilliant demonstration of the principle I propounded in my last video, namely, that complaints are not always an invitation to solve a problem.  If you haven’t seen this already, I’m sure you’ll find it enlightening. http://youtube.googleapis.co

A very important note about those little hurts we all experience from time to time. #marriage #relationships

This is actually not about pregnancy, but I thought it was a catchy title to use.  This is about the expectations we have of our significant others and how it affects our relationships.  Take a look. #marriage #relationships

Here’s a useful suggestion for how to handle those high-intensity moments in a more productive way. #marriage #relationships

Another handy tip for making relationships work.  Check it out. #marriage #relationships

This tip is a winner. One of my favorites.  I know that some people disagree with this perspective, but I think it’s pretty useful.  Feel free to comment below whether you’re for or against! #marriage #relationships

I found this poem/video very moving. It speaks volumes about the lasting effects that our relationships with others can have. http://tothisdayproject.com/ http://youtube.googleapis.com/v/ltun92DfnPY&source=uds cvzxv #parenting #relationships #therapy

You know those times when your significant other does something particularly irritating?  And you point it out, and you are clearly right, and yet it comes back in your face?  And then it becomes a big argument?  And you get nowhere?  Yeah.  So here’s a tip: don’t do that. Here’s another: #marriage #relationships

No doubt you are now an expert at “I” statements, based on my last video.  Now take it to the next level with this corollary from your local Orthodox couples counselor (me). #marriage #relationships

I know this is a very important topic to many of you (most especially the women), so I recommend you pick up the latest edition of Binah magazine, in which I just had an article published on this very topic.  Unfortunately, they do not permit reprints for 6 months, so if you can’t get your hands on a copy, you’ll just have to wait until August when I can post it here.  (Meanwhile, stay tuned for yet more relationship tips coming your way!) #marriage #relationships

Here’s a timely article that I liked about the parshas discussing the construction of the Beis HaMikdash.  It’s got a number of interesting points, including its analogy to marriage and marital counseling. http://www.aish.com/jl/b/chumash/Chumash-Themes-14-The-Tabernacle.html #marriage #relationships

This may be review for some, but it’s a great basic communication tool.  Don’t leave home without it. It’s also an important starting point for be able to handle tough conversations in a relationship, so give it a shot. #marriage #relationships

I’m the kind of guy who likes to be witty, especially in a group of friends. Me and my guy friends trade zingers all the time and we all take it as a sign of love.  With some of my buddies, it is a key part of the friendship.  But… #marriage #relationships

Do you like cookies?  Here’s a video for you. #marriage #relationships

Dear Readers, I am pleased to announce the launch of my new YouTube channel, on which I will be posting a video series of my favorite relationship tips. These are going to be ideas, approaches, and practical tools that you can use to improve your marriage, and really just about any other interpersonal relationship as well. I hope you’ll find them helpful, and I encourage you to post comments or questions on what I’ll be saying. Also, feel free to post questions you’d like to

The gun control debate that is coming back out of hibernation as a result of last week’s tragedy is an interesting case in point from the perspective of a couples therapist. So much of the trouble I encounter in the therapy room is due to partners addressing the issue on their own mind instead of the issue on the other’s mind. John is angry about Marsha’s spending habits; Marsha feels unloved; and neither one is speaking to the problem that the other sees. Of course, there ar

An interesting point I have recently been reminded of emphatically while working with couples: the points of dispute brought into the room are almost never where the juicy stuff lies. (With the couple I am thinking of right now, those points of dispute were particularly angry ones, too!) The truth is that it’s really all about the dynamic in the room. Whatever problems they’ve been having thus far are still ongoing, or they wouldn’t be in therapy. So I can watch those problem

By Raffi Bilek| Nov 1st, 2012 Originally Posted at OU.org ******************************************************************************** If you’re reading this, you probably have power back by now. Or maybe you’re reading this at work. Or maybe you’re one of the lucky ones who never lost power in the superstorm-formerly-known-as-hurricane-Sandy. And if you’re reading this, you have probably also seen the never-thought-I’d-see-THAT-outside-of-a-Hollywood-blockbus