Thursday, August 28, 2014


Recently, I was sitting at dinner with my wife and kids and discussing the mundane issues of daily life.  At one point my wife mentioned to me something about putting the kids in camp for an extra few days. My six-year-old daughter piped up and cheerfully asked, “Because you don’t want to deal with the kids, right?”

I felt a little bit like dirt.

That is really not how I want my kids to think we look at them.  We so easily overlook how perceptive our kids are from the youngest ages, and how they pick up everything we say, whether we think they are listening or not.  No doubt we have used the phrase “dealing with the kids” numerous times before – look, there’s no question, they can be tough to manage.  They take a ton of energy – not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well.  They suck up time like a miniature screaming snot-nosed black hole.  But we should not be talking about our kids, or even thinking about them, as something we have to “deal with.”  We love them.  We admire them.  We cherish them.  We educate them.  But we do not “deal with” them.  We pour our energies into them with a deep sense of greater purpose as we trying our hardest to build competent, capable, balanced human beings.  It is a privilege and a responsibility.  It is not a chore or a punishment.

You will note here that I am speaking primarily to myself.

But let’s all try to remember it despite the tribulations of childrearing.  And let’s also remember that whatever attitude we choose, our kids will know it.  How do you want your kids to feel growing up? Like a chore?  Or like a precious diamond?  You have a sizeable influence on which way it’s going to go.

Monday, August 18, 2014

New website!

The Baltimore Therapy Center is now open for business!  Check out our website at - and tell your friends!  We specialize in relationship issues of all kinds, including marital and premarital counseling, dealing with parents, problems with children, and adoption issues.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Not Your Average Advice Column Response

This provides a little levity in the family therapy field (check out Amy's response). At the same time, it's a bit sad. (This is just the kind of case I help with, if you find yourself in a similar situation...)
Dear Amy: Every fall, my sister, cousins and a cousin’s sister-in-law have a weekend shopping excursion in our home city. We stay in a hotel, treat ourselves, shop for our children and go out for lunches and dinners. It is a great time to reconnect.
I have a sister “Wendy,” who we do not invite. She is offended to the point of tears when she finds we have not invited her...

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

New book available!

My third children's book is now available on!  Aptly titled "Sisters," it's meant to address some of the challenges (and benefits!) of having an older or younger sister. Sibling rivalry is a fact of life, but I think bringing it out into the open and discussing frankly with children what is hard and what is fun about sibling relationships is a good way to help ease the tensions.

Check it out here!